So, I'm like totally in love with my boyfriend. He's like the best boyfriend in the world. Seriously. He always knows the right thing to say and do and he's always so reliable. But lately, he's like, too perfect. Or at least he thinks he is. Or at least everyone else thinks he is.

But it's fine. I mean, I'm totally in love with him. It's just like that episode of "Sex and the City," when Carrie's all "I really like this guy, but sometimes he confuses me, but I have my friends!!!" Yeah, that one. And like Carrie, I always tell my best friends everything. So I was talking to them about Mike—that's my boyfriend—and I was telling them how I just can't decide if he really cares about me anymore. It seems like it's all about him. Like, instead of telling me how perfect I am, it's like he's preoccupied with something else. And he never surprises me anymore. It's just the same old thing, over and over. Plus, he's been out of the country for like three weeks now and I've barely talked to him, and when he calls, all he tells me is he's doing great and winning and "making history." I don't even know what that means. Whatever.

Apparently though, he has time to talk to like a million random people. I keep hearing all these people be like, "Yeah, I talked to Michael today," "We got the chance to sit down with Michael," or "We grabbed Michael for a quick chat." And then there's this one chick…I hate her. She gets to talk to him almost everyday. And she's really annoying and not cute. I can't find her Facebook page, but when I do, I'm totally gonna be like "Andrea, ur an idiot."

Anyway, my friends were like, “But think of all the good things about him!” And my one friend, that could be pretty if she got rid of those bangs, reminded me that since he has like crazy long arms and is really tall, he can help me reach stuff, like the heels I keep in the back of my closet. But I told her that love shouldn't be able to be replaced by a step ladder. My friends totally agreed.

I was getting so sick of thinking and talking and hearing about him, I decided it was time to break up. But right as I picked up my phone to tell him he sucked, my phone rang. It was him. I couldn't really hear what he was saying with all the noise and yelling in the background. Typical. But he was saying something about gold. I like gold. Even though I'm not a huge gold person, I could pair whatever it was with the right outfit. Especially if it was really expensive. Maybe I could stick this relationship out a little bit longer. Or, at the least, for another week until he gets home and gives me my present. And after that, to be honest, I'll probably just forget about this whole thing.