When I see roadkill on the side of the road, I prefer to think that animal was killed doing something heroic.  I drove by a raccoon, who had fallen at the side of the road, and I believe his little, slumped over dead body was hiding tiny arrows that had been shot into him after he charged a field of enemies.

The amazement of both chocolate and vanilla ice cream twisted together into one cone has carried from my childhood, straight into my 30’s.

I just always assumed that someone who is a professional choreographer would never be married.  In my head, when you’ve dedicated your life to teaching people how to dance, you’re not level-headed enough to dedicate yourself to something like marriage.
 
I can’t find a reason to not have one of those posturepedic beds that folds up and bends and stuff.  They look great.
 
Peanuts are the closest most of us will ever get to eating wood.

I know I’ve said things like this before, but The Dark Knight really destroyed my balls.
  
Dogs are super weird.  They exist nowhere naturally.  They live to be led around…on leashes mind you.  They don’t feed themselves.  They beg.  They’re basically possessions.  Where are they all born?
 
Think about how much we assume we know about animals and animal behavior?  Did you do it?  Okay, now isn’t it crazy we assume all of that?  Anybody else interested in all of the things we don't know about animals?  Just me?  Okay.
 
I think all pandas are fat.  And if they’re not, that’s certainly their reputation.  And that’s a tough cross to bear.
 
I used Biore strips on my nose when I was like 19 because I was fascinated by them.  They tore out little threads of pus.  Crazy, right?  Do they still make those?

I have a gigantic fish tank in my place, and the most difficult thing about getting a new apartment is moving all of my sharks.  All of that is a lie.

My brother-in-law said being killed by sharks was “number one” on his list of worst ways to die.  I think mine is being murdered naked in front of a group of people.
 
Where art thou Bone Thugs-n-Harmony?
 
Grapes are the most successful fruit.  Very rarely do you have a bad grape.  I’ve never had one.  Never.  Maybe it’s because there are so many that it’s hard to find the bad ones?  Or maybe there’s more of a chance to find bad ones because there are so many, yet grapes persist.  I’m still trying to work out the mathematics on grapes (that’s a great band name).  Either way, I wish the grape math (even better band name) applied to strawberries, because strawberries are really delicious.
 
The Coca-Cola Company really nailed the recipe for Cherry Coke.