In the fall of 2007, with production about to begin on their new album, Ben Gibbard gathered Death Cab For Cutie bandmates, Chris Walla, Nicholas Harmer, and Jason McGerr at their band headquarters in Bellingham, Washington. This is what Michael Torpey and Pat Driscoll imagine went down.

Ben: Thanks everyone for coming. It’s been a big couple of years for Death
Cab. After being constantly name checked on Fox’s The OC, we signed to a major label and released a pretty good record that went platinum.

Nick: That was a pretty good album. We had about 3 or 4 really good songs on there.

Jason: Hell yeah we did! DCFC, baby!!

Ben: Interesting you should bring that up Nick. It’s sort of what I want to talk about today.

Chris: Ben’s right. We need to get working on 3 or 4 more good songs for the new album!

Ben: Actually, Chris, that’s not quite it. We’re on a lot of people’s radar right now. Critics, hipsters and the public as a whole are going to be paying a lot of attention to our next album.

Jason: This one’s a guaranteed triple platinum!

Ben: Exactly! A lot of people are going to hear this album and I really think most of them are going to want to hate it.

Nick: Why would they want to hate it?

Ben: It’s called a backlash. It’s the way things work. People build bands up just to knock them down.

Jason: I’m scared, Ben.

Ben: It’s alright, Jason. I have a plan. What if we make an album with no bad songs?

Jason: No bad songs?

Ben: No bad songs. We start it off with three or four really great tracks. Each one could be a single. Then we put in a few other cuts, maybe not Billboard Top 10 material but songs that listeners will appreciate initially only to come back to and realize they really like. Then we finish with another three or four monster tracks.

Chris: Ben, that’s just not done. If we write more than four good songs, which I don’t even think is possible, we should save them for our next album.

Ben: No, Chris. We’re going to put out a complete album. No skippable tracks. Prince did it back in the 80’s. We’re going to do it now. All those people waiting to hate us will have no choice but to like the album. We won’t give them a single out.

And so, Ben and company sat down and made Narrow Stairs; an album without a single bad song. Hipsters everywhere heard the album, and kept their mouths blissfully shut.